India
Pakistan’s status versus that of India (aside from the border dispute, there is competition for aid and favor from the West-a balance of power that shifted after 9/11).
Ethnic riots and the partitions of the past. India jealously guards its status as a multiethnic democracy.
Inquiring whether a marriage was arranged-or simply assuming it was. There are gradations of how “arranged” a marriage is, and you might
miss the subtleties.
Joking about call centers or any of the results of outsourcing.
Class hierarchies, economic inequality, or the caste system. Even innocently asking to help out a servant in the kitchen can lead to tension.
Diversionary Topics - Openness and diversity; the growing economy; and the fact that India is "the world’s largest democracy."
At a meeting Hillary Clinton, you’re in luck—pantsuits are okay anywhere on the Indian Subcontinent; choose cotton or linen in summer, and accessorize with a colored scarf or dangly earrings to keep up with vividly dressed locals, who wear bold diaphanous saris to boardrooms in Bangalore and Mumbai. (Men, don’t be afraid to wear color, too—you certainly won’t feel out of place.)
On the street Unless you’re here to visit a Bollywood star, designer clothes aren’t right for Indian city streets. A sari won’t work, either: “Western women look silly because they can’t wrap or tie it right,” says Barbara Crossette, author of India: Old Civilization in a New World. Instead, wear draw-string pants, leather toe sandals, and a nice cotton tee. Men can go super-comfy in a kurta, or knee-length tunic, usually worn with cotton or linen bottoms; the women’s version is called a kameez.
At a party Since beautiful silk is readily available, women commission local seamstresses to make sleek knee-length tunics with side slits and legging-like pants worn bunched at the ankles. But your jewels are what you’ll really be judged by: “Indians have their jewelry made to order; no one buys off the shelf,” Crossette says. Men wear short-sleeved button-downs, slacks, and loafers.
P.S. Sandals are easiest when touring, since you can slip them off quickly before entering temples. And a word to the wise: Ankle bracelets are out.
Hello
In Hindi-speaking areas, namaste or the more formal namaskar. If you want to be very respectful, simultaneously clasp your hands together very briefly as if in prayer and bow slightly—especially in front of women. Otherwise—at least in urban areas—Western custom predominates, so shake hands (but not with women unless they initiate it). More casually, you can ask, aap kaise hai (“what’s up?”). Among Muslims: salam.
Good-bye
Namaskar (the ciao of Hindi) or alvida, though it’s “Urdu/Islamic and a tad poetic,” says Aparna Jayakumar, a photographer based in Mumbai.
Thank You
Dhanyavaad (prefaced by bahut, for “very much”), or shukriya (Urdu)—neither of which are used very often. In terms of excessive gratitude, “a lot of Indians would look at us the way we look at Japanese people,” says Scott Carney, an investigative journalist who lived in Chennai for four years. He suggests instead the ubiquitous side-to-side wiggle of the head (“I hear you . . .”) or the equally common accha (“okay”) or acche (“very good”).
Excuse Me
Sorry in English is universally understood, but to get someone’s attention: suniye (a polite version of “listen up”) or suno (just plain “listen up”). Or more politely: maaf kijiye (Hindi and Urdu).
Help Me
Muddud.
Please
Kripya—but “only flight attendants use it,” says Carney. The ye suffix in the “excuse me” phrase is a polite modifier; best to stick to that.
